Edwards Stag Do! Bella's Hen Night!
by IceQueen2725
Summary: Based on Twilight like anybody needs that with the famous names in the title. Story is what it says on the Tin - Much love IceQueen2725 x


I really wanted to do a twilight fanfic and couldn't think of what to write, so I have stared at my twilight posters and finally came up with something! So enjoy people and comment!

_**Edwards POV**_

I love my life as a vampire with Bella now and we are getting MARRIED in 4 days! 4 days! 96 hours! Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

However times like this I hate my family – when I say family I mean Emmett! He is organising a stag do – I am not supposed to know but Alice is thinking about nothing else along with Bella's hen do.

Tonight will unmask what Emmett has planned and that is never good.

"Knock it off! Right now! Your paranoia is killing me, along with Alice's excitement, Rosalie's resentment, Emmett's concentration and Bella's resentment all at the same freaking time! I hate my supernatural power!" jasper screamed for outside Edwards door.

"Sorry" Edward said, tossing his eyes.

4 hours passed and the time was now 6 o'clock in the evening.

"you ready?" Carlisle peered round Edward's door, to see him in his tux, with his tie undone, staring worriedly into his mirror. Carlisle walked over to Edward and done his tie for him.

"look mate, its your stag do, ok no way of getting out of it, so just be happy and have fun!" Carlisle added.

"hmmmmmm" Edward looked down, then gave Carlisle a quick hug, Carlisle slapped him on the back and they walked outside to the hummer truck.

"hummer truck! Classy!" Edward sighed and got into the truck.

**

* * *

**

BPOV

No way! No way! No way!

Alice had clearly read my face when she announced that everyone was waiting for me at my hen do.

You know when you say to someone not to do something and they do what do you do?

"you play along and have fun!" Alice squealed.

"you cant read minds! What the hell?" I said shocked

"yes that right I cant but I can for see" she smiled angelically.

I tossed my eyes, because I couldn't do anything once Alice pulled that face. I groaned, and Rosalie came behind and pushed me out of the door, Esme grabbed everyone's coats, smiled sweetly at me and we all left.

Ok I will give Alice one credit we did arrive in style, she apparently insisted that we use her transportation of a gorgeous yellow Porsche curtsey of her brother and soon-to-be husband.

We arrived at Fork's High School and parked in the car park, I look up at Rosalie puzzled, I thought I wont look at Alice that way I don't want to make her upset, she had obviously put a lot of work into tonight.

"where did you think we were going to have it bella? Your not a princess we wont roll out the red carpet because your getting married!" Rosalie replied to the face.

We got out of the car and went into the hall, everyone I knew obviously apart from the males who were at my fiancée's do shouted surprise and released party poppers. Me, Rosalie, Alice and Esme were coated in confetti, I looked around Alice had put a disco ball on the ceiling and multicolour spotlights, there was a long table taking up the whole of the right wall and was coated in food, with pink confetti sprinkled everywhere.

There were pink hen-do balloons absolutely everywhere, to be frank there was pink everywhere; balloons, banners, confetti! Everywhere!

Oh my god, I was at a cross between a school disco and a 4 year old's party!

"do you like it?" Alice asked, completely hyperactive.

"yh thanku Alice its great" I said and turned and quickly hugged before being dragged away by everyone there, I felt as though I was an insect being flushed down the drain to its doom.

* * *

**EPOV**

Ok, so we arrived at this hall I had never seen before that Carlisle had rented out, went into the doors, got acquainted with everyone there and then I saw them. The wolves had descended from their dog cages and were here at my stag-do, the vampires stag-do!

I'm sorry when did I cross the dimension into another world where these dogs and us we in perfect harmony and the treaty didn't exist and they turn up to my stag-do, I will kill Carlisle for this.

And the cherry on top of the cake was that Jacob was here, he was at the stag-do of the vampire who was going to marry the girl he loved as well, I smiled sweetly I will have to do some rubbing. Delicious.

So I started I walked straight up to the stinking dogs, I wont even tell you what Jacob was thinking your innocent ears will be hurt!

"Hey guys thanks for coming" I said to all of them, then I turned to Jacob and smiled sickly, so sickly that if I was Jacob I would punch me right now.

"ok boys I do want any trouble here ok?" Sam and Carlisle said at the same time.

"Jeez guys calm down me and Jake wont do anything stupid, we will have to get along sometime soon anyway I mean I will be marrying bella soon, we have to get on because I will be seeing more of him wont I!" I smiled again, lapping this all up, Carlisle knocked my shoulder basically meaning for me to knock it off.

Jake scowled at me.

Fine matey you want to make this dirty I will!

"You know Jake you don't have to stay here if you don't want to, you can go to bella's I know she wont cheat on me especially with you because I give her everything she needs as you witnessed before when she came back to me" I smiled hugely, being a bastard and playing dirty suited me, well bella never complained.

"alright that's it, I think we should leave" Sam stepped in and the whole pack scowled at me and turned and left.

Right one mess sorted with I wonder how many others Carlisle and Emmett made that I would sort out.

"you are a right git sometimes you know that right?" Emmett said.

"I wont apologize for something I had every right to get rid of" I said with a matter-of-fact edge to my voice.

I walked off to grab some alcohol I think I am going to need it tonight, I was greeted by a relaxed jasper, hang jasper relaxed! What was going on?

"thanku so much for getting rid of the dogs, they were giving headache of emotions, mainly just loved love for you" he chuckled.

"your welcome the smell wasn't nice either!" I replied raising my eyebrows.

"yeah I know what you mean" jasper downed a shot of vodka and then ate an olive, I looked at him shocked.

"I deserve this I have put up with Alice for 6 weeks with these do's" he said returning my shocked face.

With what he just told me I lined up four shot glasses with vodka and gave them to him.

"here go for it" I felt completely sorry for him, I would rather sit with the dogs then spend 6 weeks with Alice preparing both do's.

"what were they feeling anyway?" I said realising jasper hadn't actually told me.

"Anger, tense and especially jealously" he smiled at me with the last one.

"and with the excitement of all the others and the relaxation, it was driving me nuts" he continued, I felt even more sorry for him as if Alice wasn't enough, he had to injure the least delightful power of us all and then be in a room full of people when he was new 'vegetarian'.

I downed five shots of vodka and went back to Emmett, who was chatting up 5 blondes. I walked over and joined him…

"…yeah I can bench-press 200 times a minute and lift over 500kg with one hand" he was bragging.

"Yh Rosalie was impressed when you lifted her and all the luggage into your honeymoon hotel room and then done it when you finally got back home" I butted in and smiled at him, lets just say his response was in his head and I received it loud and clear, also that lovely kind message will stay in ours heads, I will give a little insight into it every word was a swear word!

He stalked off to find the next blonde victim, honestly when I tell Rosalie he's dead.

* * *

**BPOV**

I wonder what Edward is doing right now, I had now greeted everyone and was sitting at a table alone watching everyone talking and dancing. I was alone and it was peaceful, but that soon ended quickly when the dragon walked over.

"you know Alice and Esme have put a lot into this so don't be a spoilt brat and get up and look like your enjoying yourself" Rosalie said and walked off again.

She was right I got up and danced with Alice for a long time then when I was wore out I walked out of the fire exit to get a breath of fresh out, the cold air hit me like a wave but I had to get out.

I dug out my phone from the bag and called up Edward.

"Hello?" Edward answered, his smooth voice rushing a tingling sensation throughout me.

"yh hey, its bells, I am having a break its maniac here, so I thought I would see how things were with you" I answered.

"yh there good, missing you like crazy, guess who was here though, Jacob and the others, I couldn't believe it, they left uh pretty quickly" Edward laughed.

"what did you do?"

"nothing, honestly, I just might have said that he can goes to yours if he liked"

"and…"

"I love it how you make presumptions bella"

"Edward I know you and for that fact I know Jacob he wouldn't leave for nothing!"

"listen things were getting a little crowded so Sam thought it was best if they leaved and they did"

"uh huh" bella replied, I wasn't going to get much out of him, so I will get it out of Jacob later, us women have our wicked ways.

"its maniac here too, and all I want to do is be with you!" Edward declared down the phone.

"I really want to be with you too, but Alice and Emmett would kill us!"

"good point, I am really confused as well, right jasper was saying how Alice has planned both do's only I thought Emmett had planned mine?" Edward asked.

"oh yh, Alice was trying to do both but when Emmett looked at the stag do plans he took it away from Alice and planned it all himself, she weren't happy" I told him.

"yh I bet she weren't, right you I am wanted by Carlisle so I'll talk to you later, I really love you" Edward sighed he didn't want to leave, I could understand that, neither did i.

"ok you I'll speak to you soon, and I love you so much too" I said back to him, when he tells me he loves and me to him I always get a goowey feeling in my stomach, I don't like it because I don't feel grounded.

He hung up, so I took one more breath and walked inside of the hall.

* * *

**EPOV**

"oh Jesus Emmett please tell me you didn't! Carlisle why did you call me in!" I said horror-stricken.

Emmett had ordered a blonde stripper! She was BLONDE! Doesn't Emmett realise I prefer brunettes! Hello Bella!

I was now tied to the chair, with this girl in a tight pink rubber outfit on, dancing exotically infront of me! She was now removing my shirt! In front of everyone! Emmett was filming! Oh please save me!

* * *

**BPOV**

"Alice no! no! no! no! no!" I said to her.

"now this wasn't my idea blame Esme!" she said shocked herself.

"what a girl has to have fun!" Esme said innocently.

Esme had got a muscular male stripper! Esme! Esme – the kind and sensitive mother had ordered a fit stripper for my party!

"Esme you devil" Rosalie said wickedly, cheering this guy on who has now removed every piece of clothing about from his leather boxers and policeman hat!

"this cant get any worse!" I spoke to soon.

The policeman removed his boxers!

Me and Alice blushed violently, while everyone else had dropped their jaws!

Oh god Edward help me!

* * *

**EPOV**

Ok finally once all of my clothes were off apart from my boxers, Carlisle stopped the stripper and Emmett was next. I got my clothes back on and run out of the door and into the car, I was so shocked I had to get away.

I grabbed my phone and rung Bella.

"Hello?" Bella answered

"Emmett had ordered a female stripper, a blonde nurse female stripper!"

"oh don't worry, Esme had ordered a policeman male stripper!"

"you what! Esme! No you got that wrong!"

"she confessed! Its true!"

"Esme Cullen! Are you able to get away?"

"ummmm I should be able to why?"

"because I want to take you someone"

"deal meet me at School"

"done!"

ok, my sanity has been saved by Bella again!

In less then 5 minutes I have reached Bella, she had managed to slip away and we drove along the coast with the car roof retracted. I felt so safe with her hear, I felt calm and sane and loved!

I took her to the beach, where I had a umbrella, strawberries, champagne etc waiting for us.

"how did you?" Bella began to ask.

"Carlisle and Esme! They understood what we would be going through" I said, a little flushed.

"remind me to thank them!" I said and laughed we sat down on the blanket and indulged just relaxing in each others arms and talking.

Once all the food and drink was gone, we got up and walked along the sand where the sea meet, with our shoes off we felt the wet sand between our toes, it was sunset, arms around each other we watched the sun go down.

"in 4 days you will be Mrs. Cullen" I said and smiled.

"I cant wait!" Bella replied.

Just then we saw everyone from both of our parties run down the beach, with music and drink, we turned to see Carlisle and Esme preparing a barbecue, they smiled at us.

We both laughed.

"we're not going to escape tonight are we?" Bella asked, looking into my eyes.

"no but we have each other so we can get through it cant we?" I asked, looking deeply into her eyes as well.

"with you I can do anything Edward" then she smiled cheekily.

"later my love" I returned the glance.

"ok its just one night, lets get it over with" Bella sighed.

And with that we walked over to join the others.


End file.
